mail-in terrorist
We here at S&S lurv our GI Joes. Specifically, those big-headed turd-sized ones made between 1982 and 1994. Since Matt hooked me up with a Cross Country recently, and with the 25th Anniversary line finally making its way to retailers (we don’t have ours yet), it’s time to take a gander at one of the crown jewels of the Real American Hero line, Cobra Commander version 2.
Yes, you know this one. Cobra Commander in his casual Friday attire. (You can only handle a explosive-laced helmet a few days a week, after all.) Anyone who owned a few Joes owned this one. He was readily available for ten years, starting in 1984 and going all the way until the end of the line 1994. You got him by sending in your Flag Points, little pieces of cardboard found on the back of every GI Joe toy made in the 80s. You may have lost the filecard that you clipped off of every figure or vehicle, but you sure as hell didn’t lose those Flag Points. I remember my mother telling me to cut them out and give them to her. In 1991, when my family moved to a different house, we found a baggie with nearly twenty Flag Points in it. Alas, it was lost in the move. I could have finally got myself a Steel Brigade trooper had I kept them, or maybe another Cobra Commander.
I received my Cobra Commander in 1986, when Star Wars had disappeared from toy aisles. GI Joe was already huge, and I had missed the boat on several characters in the cartoon. No Scarlett, no Duke, no Snake Eyes or Storm Shadow (those guys were always hard to find), no Destro, and no Baroness. However, I could at least get one big player from the cartoon- Cobra Commander. Best of all, he came free with Flag Points! I gathered up what I had and had my folks do the paperwork. These kind of things take a very long time to arrive. Six to eight weeks, and brother, they aren’t kidding.
When the box finally arrived from one of Hasbro’s fulfillment centers, I was shocked to discover TWO count ‘em TWO Cobra Commanders! Alas, they were not both to be mine. I was instructed to give one to my two-year-old brother, whom I was sure would not appreciate on the same level I would. But I contented myself with my Commander. Now I had someone to boss around my Cobra lackeys and a madman to torture Wet-Suit and Lt. Falcon with.
Then for Christmas that year, I got Serpentor. And just like in the cartoon and the movie, the Commander had his ass handed to him by this goofball in a snake costume. Thus ended Cobra Commander’s reign over my Cobra toys.
But not for long. I lost my Serpentor and a bunch of other Joes (including my treasured Wet-Suit) when some little bastard next door stole them out of my pool. The fucker even stole my Devil Fish. So Cobra Commander once again reigned supreme over my Cobra toys, until 1989 when that o-ring finally gave away, and I got another Serpentor from Hasbro’s almighty mail-order program. I didn’t know that a mere faucet washer was all that was required to fix Joes back then, so I eventually tossed away the remnants of the Commander. I never did order another one, and now, people want way to much for what possibly is the most-produced figure in the line. Someday, I’ll get another hooded Cobra Commander from the Real American Hero line. But for now, I’ll be content with Hasbro’s newest take on this iconic character, showing up at fine retailers now except the ones closest to you.
Yes, you know this one. Cobra Commander in his casual Friday attire. (You can only handle a explosive-laced helmet a few days a week, after all.) Anyone who owned a few Joes owned this one. He was readily available for ten years, starting in 1984 and going all the way until the end of the line 1994. You got him by sending in your Flag Points, little pieces of cardboard found on the back of every GI Joe toy made in the 80s. You may have lost the filecard that you clipped off of every figure or vehicle, but you sure as hell didn’t lose those Flag Points. I remember my mother telling me to cut them out and give them to her. In 1991, when my family moved to a different house, we found a baggie with nearly twenty Flag Points in it. Alas, it was lost in the move. I could have finally got myself a Steel Brigade trooper had I kept them, or maybe another Cobra Commander.
I received my Cobra Commander in 1986, when Star Wars had disappeared from toy aisles. GI Joe was already huge, and I had missed the boat on several characters in the cartoon. No Scarlett, no Duke, no Snake Eyes or Storm Shadow (those guys were always hard to find), no Destro, and no Baroness. However, I could at least get one big player from the cartoon- Cobra Commander. Best of all, he came free with Flag Points! I gathered up what I had and had my folks do the paperwork. These kind of things take a very long time to arrive. Six to eight weeks, and brother, they aren’t kidding.
When the box finally arrived from one of Hasbro’s fulfillment centers, I was shocked to discover TWO count ‘em TWO Cobra Commanders! Alas, they were not both to be mine. I was instructed to give one to my two-year-old brother, whom I was sure would not appreciate on the same level I would. But I contented myself with my Commander. Now I had someone to boss around my Cobra lackeys and a madman to torture Wet-Suit and Lt. Falcon with.
Then for Christmas that year, I got Serpentor. And just like in the cartoon and the movie, the Commander had his ass handed to him by this goofball in a snake costume. Thus ended Cobra Commander’s reign over my Cobra toys.
But not for long. I lost my Serpentor and a bunch of other Joes (including my treasured Wet-Suit) when some little bastard next door stole them out of my pool. The fucker even stole my Devil Fish. So Cobra Commander once again reigned supreme over my Cobra toys, until 1989 when that o-ring finally gave away, and I got another Serpentor from Hasbro’s almighty mail-order program. I didn’t know that a mere faucet washer was all that was required to fix Joes back then, so I eventually tossed away the remnants of the Commander. I never did order another one, and now, people want way to much for what possibly is the most-produced figure in the line. Someday, I’ll get another hooded Cobra Commander from the Real American Hero line. But for now, I’ll be content with Hasbro’s newest take on this iconic character, showing up at fine retailers now except the ones closest to you.
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