The Nintendo Virtual Boy
I'm going to say it right now: This thing never stood a chance, and it rightly didn't deserve one either.
This was Nintendo's 32-bit system, aka a "stopgap" between the Super NES and the Nintendo 64. It was also an attempt to capitalize on the supposedly huge nationwide interest in 'virtual reality'. The premise was intriguing enough, especially if you read Nintendo Power in 1994-95. The screenshots in every issue looked awesome, even if they were totally red.
I'm not sure how it works exactly, but I'm sure it involves mirrors and little 2-inch tall men inside.
Nintendo deemed it too expensive to use blue and green LEDs (I think) in the VB, and just stuck with red. Which really wasn't that big of a deal until you took your head away from the VB unit and the colors were all dull.
Speaking of health hazards associated with the Virtual Boy, let's start with the fact no one under 7 years of age could use it, since it could permanently damage their underdeveloped eyes. Awesome, this thing can injure children! Buy one now!
Then there was the total lack of a way to move the VB unit vertically. You could tip it back and forth, but forget about moving it up. Which sucks, since the only people capable of playing it had to hunch over and put their heads at an odd angle to peer into it.
It also screwed with your focus, so every half hour, the system would automatically pause so you could straighten out your spine and reorient your eyes before you went crosseyed.
Neither my siblings or I asked for this thing, but for Christmas 1995, we got one anyway. I don't think it ever had more than 45 minutes of use at one time. It sat in the attic most of the time until recently when my brother took it down to his new apartment so he would have something to do. Though I'm sure he's sold it by now.
The thing trades for a pretty penny on ebay, since there aren't that many systems out there. Plus the only game I was ever interested in playing (and never did), Waterworld, tends to be the rarest game for it, and sometimes trades for more than $100, which is a hell of a lot more than the movie itself made in theaters.
I wouldn't recommend the purchase, since the system is awfully expensive, and the games for it are lackluster at best. There are two good ones I can think of: Wario Land and Teleroboxer. But those two aren't a good enough reason to own the system unless you're a Nintendo fanatic, and if that's the case, you likely have it already.
It's certainly a unique system, and I never have seen an emulator out there on the intarweb since I'm sure it's almost impossible to pull it off. I think it's a pretty neat thing, and it could have gone places had it some other colors to it besides red and had some type of vertical movement. If it had those things, eventually Nintendo would have developed some better titles for it, maybe something like a Metroid game or even a Donkey Kong one. Those would have helped to sell the system.
But I don't think Nintendo really planned to stay behind it very long. I think they just planned to put in on the market just to have the Nintendo name out there against Sony's then-new Playstation which was rapidly sucking away their market share. (Meanwhile, Sega was over in the corner with their Saturn that nobody wanted.)
It was pretty much the beginning of the end for Nintendo's dominance. Now Nintendo is off in the corner, doing their own thing while Sony and Microsoft swing their dicks around trying to find the bleeding-edge technology and most violent games possible. At least Nintendo still holds most market share in the handheld arena with the Advance and DS. (If you forked over moeny for a PSP, I pity you.)
If you have one, great. We should form a group called "Poor-Postured VB Users" or something.
This was Nintendo's 32-bit system, aka a "stopgap" between the Super NES and the Nintendo 64. It was also an attempt to capitalize on the supposedly huge nationwide interest in 'virtual reality'. The premise was intriguing enough, especially if you read Nintendo Power in 1994-95. The screenshots in every issue looked awesome, even if they were totally red.
I'm not sure how it works exactly, but I'm sure it involves mirrors and little 2-inch tall men inside.
Nintendo deemed it too expensive to use blue and green LEDs (I think) in the VB, and just stuck with red. Which really wasn't that big of a deal until you took your head away from the VB unit and the colors were all dull.
Speaking of health hazards associated with the Virtual Boy, let's start with the fact no one under 7 years of age could use it, since it could permanently damage their underdeveloped eyes. Awesome, this thing can injure children! Buy one now!
Then there was the total lack of a way to move the VB unit vertically. You could tip it back and forth, but forget about moving it up. Which sucks, since the only people capable of playing it had to hunch over and put their heads at an odd angle to peer into it.
It also screwed with your focus, so every half hour, the system would automatically pause so you could straighten out your spine and reorient your eyes before you went crosseyed.
Neither my siblings or I asked for this thing, but for Christmas 1995, we got one anyway. I don't think it ever had more than 45 minutes of use at one time. It sat in the attic most of the time until recently when my brother took it down to his new apartment so he would have something to do. Though I'm sure he's sold it by now.
The thing trades for a pretty penny on ebay, since there aren't that many systems out there. Plus the only game I was ever interested in playing (and never did), Waterworld, tends to be the rarest game for it, and sometimes trades for more than $100, which is a hell of a lot more than the movie itself made in theaters.
I wouldn't recommend the purchase, since the system is awfully expensive, and the games for it are lackluster at best. There are two good ones I can think of: Wario Land and Teleroboxer. But those two aren't a good enough reason to own the system unless you're a Nintendo fanatic, and if that's the case, you likely have it already.
It's certainly a unique system, and I never have seen an emulator out there on the intarweb since I'm sure it's almost impossible to pull it off. I think it's a pretty neat thing, and it could have gone places had it some other colors to it besides red and had some type of vertical movement. If it had those things, eventually Nintendo would have developed some better titles for it, maybe something like a Metroid game or even a Donkey Kong one. Those would have helped to sell the system.
But I don't think Nintendo really planned to stay behind it very long. I think they just planned to put in on the market just to have the Nintendo name out there against Sony's then-new Playstation which was rapidly sucking away their market share. (Meanwhile, Sega was over in the corner with their Saturn that nobody wanted.)
It was pretty much the beginning of the end for Nintendo's dominance. Now Nintendo is off in the corner, doing their own thing while Sony and Microsoft swing their dicks around trying to find the bleeding-edge technology and most violent games possible. At least Nintendo still holds most market share in the handheld arena with the Advance and DS. (If you forked over moeny for a PSP, I pity you.)
If you have one, great. We should form a group called "Poor-Postured VB Users" or something.
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