A ramble on the legacy of A Real American Hero.
Thank your dear and fluffy lord for Target doing their fall reset in the toy aisle. I was finally able to get my sweaty hands on some 25th Anniversary GI Joe 5-packs. I only found the Joe set, and it was the last one there. I scooped it up, and made threatening gestures to anyone who looked at me funny as I walked to the checkout. And people will look at you funny, since the box is big, shiny, and noisy. When you see one of these on the shelf, you know beyond any doubt that Reagan's America is alive and well somewhere.
Well, not so much that. If you were to take a look at the back of the box, it should fill you with pity, especially if you're standing in the aisles of a big-box retailer as I was. You get a twinge of sadness that this new generation is allowing the bar to be set so low for themselves when it comes time for recreation. Instead of Terror Dromes, space shuttles, boats, tanks, jeeps, 7-foot aircraft carriers that can house your entire Joe collection, or toys of bikers that eat jelly donuts and drink grape soda, they want video games and Japanese card games instead.
Every boy in America should be issued one or both of these 5-packs. Maybe then they won't grow up to be whiny pussies like I see my younger cousins becoming. But, kids (or their parents) these days don't seem to much like war toys. Hasbro didn't think this line up with the kids in mind. No sir. These are for the dudes my age, who lost their Joes in the mud or to firecrackers. A generation of arrested-development adults who as kids weren't constrained by anything but their imagination. Sure, the GI Joe cartoon and comic had their own seperate storylines, but when you had a good squadron of about five figures split any way between Joe and Cobra, the sky was the limit. And hell, we don't even need to get into vehicles. If you had one or more, you were set for hours. Jesus, that last line made me sound like my old man.
I'm sure my parents might have thought the same thing about GI Joe that I think about toys for kids these days. That I was being constrained in some way. I suppose they might have been right, since in 2007 I spent $25 for five new figures of characters I used to watch on TV after school in 1986.
Well, not so much that. If you were to take a look at the back of the box, it should fill you with pity, especially if you're standing in the aisles of a big-box retailer as I was. You get a twinge of sadness that this new generation is allowing the bar to be set so low for themselves when it comes time for recreation. Instead of Terror Dromes, space shuttles, boats, tanks, jeeps, 7-foot aircraft carriers that can house your entire Joe collection, or toys of bikers that eat jelly donuts and drink grape soda, they want video games and Japanese card games instead.
Every boy in America should be issued one or both of these 5-packs. Maybe then they won't grow up to be whiny pussies like I see my younger cousins becoming. But, kids (or their parents) these days don't seem to much like war toys. Hasbro didn't think this line up with the kids in mind. No sir. These are for the dudes my age, who lost their Joes in the mud or to firecrackers. A generation of arrested-development adults who as kids weren't constrained by anything but their imagination. Sure, the GI Joe cartoon and comic had their own seperate storylines, but when you had a good squadron of about five figures split any way between Joe and Cobra, the sky was the limit. And hell, we don't even need to get into vehicles. If you had one or more, you were set for hours. Jesus, that last line made me sound like my old man.
I'm sure my parents might have thought the same thing about GI Joe that I think about toys for kids these days. That I was being constrained in some way. I suppose they might have been right, since in 2007 I spent $25 for five new figures of characters I used to watch on TV after school in 1986.
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