Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!
You remember this one, don't you?
Basically, you're a kid aged 17 named Little Mac (your mother hated you) who has no business stepping into the ring with some of these guys. Some are in your weight class. Most are not. Granted, I don't know a hell of a whole lot about boxing, but I'm sure a guy like Bald Bull could have knocked Mac's head clean off his shoulders and onto some lady's lap with a good right hook.
Speaking of Bald Bull, weren't the 1980s such a simpler time?
An 8-bit package of stereotypes was this game. A weak Frenchman, a Russian with red skin, and a sneaky German, plus other stereotypes. I'll bet you a dollar you couldn't get away with that now. But hey, Nintendo games had lots of crazy shit like that born out of the Cold War. Rush'n Attack, anyone?
First you fought Glass Joe. If you blew it on this guy, you sucked and had no business holding an NES controller in your hands. You were better off playing Sorry!
Von Kaiser was next. Dodge uppercuts, give him one in return till you knocked him down for the count (or TKO, whichever works.)
After those pushovers, you had your first bout with Piston Honda. I hate this sonuvabitch. The fucker would pummel me with his attack and I'd always go down for the count until I figured out how to beat him. Just block his punches as long as you can. Don't waste time trying to dodge, he's going to hit you anyway and cost you valuable hearts.
Next was Don Flamenco. He'll taunt you to take a swing at him (and he'll always block it) but sometimes you'll have to do it. Avoid wasting too many hearts since you only start each match with about 7.
King Hippo is the next match. How many fell at his gloves? Those poor souls did not know the secret. When he's about to swat you a good one (which is also your opportunity to punch him,) he opens his mouth, and the sprite of the character flashes briefly. As soon as you see that happen, punch him in the face. He'll reach for his pants trying to keep them on, and then you punch him repeatedly in the stomach. You should be able to knock him out in the first round, since in all the years I've played, he's never gotten up after the first time I knocked him down.
Next you fight Great Tiger. When he's going to throw a punch at you, the ruby on his turban will twinkle. Dodge it and punch him back. Tiger also has a trick (which this author is certain is not sanctioned by any boxing commission except Nintendo's) where he disappears and goes in a circle pattern punching at you. What you have to do is block the attack four times (don't worry about hearts; you start the round with about 70) and he'll stop right in front of you, dazed. Punch him in the jaw. He'll go right down. Two more times, and he'll get a TKO and you'll go on to face Bald Bull.
Yes, the mighty Bald Bull. I must confess I don't know how to stop the Bull Charge besides standing right in front of it, and I never win by decision. I rely on Game Genie to take me through the rest of the game. If you were looking for tips on how to beat Mr. Sandman, Soda Popinski, Super Macho Man, and Tyson, I can't help you. Apologies.
You should still own this game if you consider yourself an NES fan. It's fun to play, and like most NES games, has that nutty challenge factor to it that keeps you coming back for more punishment. It was one of the most popular games back in the day, which means lots of copies were made, so if you pay more than $8-10 for it, you're getting hosed, unless of course it has the instruction booklet and box. I got mine for $1 through a friend who was getting rid of his NES stuff in an effort to pay for a Playstation in 1995 (sucker.)
In other news, I plan to acquire Season 1 Vol. 1 of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe this week, so expect a review of that soon. I've read good stuff about it, plus I have a $15 gift certifcate to Sam Goody for it, so that's all good.
Basically, you're a kid aged 17 named Little Mac (your mother hated you) who has no business stepping into the ring with some of these guys. Some are in your weight class. Most are not. Granted, I don't know a hell of a whole lot about boxing, but I'm sure a guy like Bald Bull could have knocked Mac's head clean off his shoulders and onto some lady's lap with a good right hook.Speaking of Bald Bull, weren't the 1980s such a simpler time?
An 8-bit package of stereotypes was this game. A weak Frenchman, a Russian with red skin, and a sneaky German, plus other stereotypes. I'll bet you a dollar you couldn't get away with that now. But hey, Nintendo games had lots of crazy shit like that born out of the Cold War. Rush'n Attack, anyone?
First you fought Glass Joe. If you blew it on this guy, you sucked and had no business holding an NES controller in your hands. You were better off playing Sorry!
Von Kaiser was next. Dodge uppercuts, give him one in return till you knocked him down for the count (or TKO, whichever works.)
After those pushovers, you had your first bout with Piston Honda. I hate this sonuvabitch. The fucker would pummel me with his attack and I'd always go down for the count until I figured out how to beat him. Just block his punches as long as you can. Don't waste time trying to dodge, he's going to hit you anyway and cost you valuable hearts.
Next was Don Flamenco. He'll taunt you to take a swing at him (and he'll always block it) but sometimes you'll have to do it. Avoid wasting too many hearts since you only start each match with about 7.
King Hippo is the next match. How many fell at his gloves? Those poor souls did not know the secret. When he's about to swat you a good one (which is also your opportunity to punch him,) he opens his mouth, and the sprite of the character flashes briefly. As soon as you see that happen, punch him in the face. He'll reach for his pants trying to keep them on, and then you punch him repeatedly in the stomach. You should be able to knock him out in the first round, since in all the years I've played, he's never gotten up after the first time I knocked him down.
Next you fight Great Tiger. When he's going to throw a punch at you, the ruby on his turban will twinkle. Dodge it and punch him back. Tiger also has a trick (which this author is certain is not sanctioned by any boxing commission except Nintendo's) where he disappears and goes in a circle pattern punching at you. What you have to do is block the attack four times (don't worry about hearts; you start the round with about 70) and he'll stop right in front of you, dazed. Punch him in the jaw. He'll go right down. Two more times, and he'll get a TKO and you'll go on to face Bald Bull.
Yes, the mighty Bald Bull. I must confess I don't know how to stop the Bull Charge besides standing right in front of it, and I never win by decision. I rely on Game Genie to take me through the rest of the game. If you were looking for tips on how to beat Mr. Sandman, Soda Popinski, Super Macho Man, and Tyson, I can't help you. Apologies.
You should still own this game if you consider yourself an NES fan. It's fun to play, and like most NES games, has that nutty challenge factor to it that keeps you coming back for more punishment. It was one of the most popular games back in the day, which means lots of copies were made, so if you pay more than $8-10 for it, you're getting hosed, unless of course it has the instruction booklet and box. I got mine for $1 through a friend who was getting rid of his NES stuff in an effort to pay for a Playstation in 1995 (sucker.)
In other news, I plan to acquire Season 1 Vol. 1 of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe this week, so expect a review of that soon. I've read good stuff about it, plus I have a $15 gift certifcate to Sam Goody for it, so that's all good.
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